Growing Pains

- by Daddy

Before the birth of River, we keep telling April that "You are going to be a big sister now, so you have to behave and take care you little sister." She likes the concept that she is going to be a big sister. She likes to imagine that the little sister will want the same thing (like the Dora Backpack), want the same color (hot pink) and want the same Disney Princess (Cinderella) as she does. So she goes around and tells everyone that she is going to be a big sister, that she is so excited, etc.

When we came home with River last Wednesday, the reality hit her. She is no longer the center of attention, her needs are no longer at the number one spot, and she has to share everything, including Mommy and Daddy's love, with baby River. That didn't sit too well with her. She was quite moody, (amazing that she is not even 4 years old yet). She would do anything to get more attention from us, ranging from behaving very good on the dinner table (positive energy) to throwing random tantrum (negative energy). She even said, "Daddy, I feel very sad in my heart." (wow, big words for a 4 year old)

In some way, I know the exact feeling she is having. Been the oldest of two siblings, and the oldest among my cousins from my father side, I was the center of attention from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Until my sister and cousins came along. I experienced that exact sadness that April is referring. It felt like something was lost in you. Something that was there, that should always be there, but was gone. And no one felt the loss except yourself. And for that lonely feeling, came the sadness - that pain your heart.

I tried to spend more time with April, be more patient with her, and explaining to her that this is all part of growing up. What she will eventually understand is that, other than me and Linda, she will have the greatest influence on River's life. Maybe in some area, her influence will be even greater than ours. That's a big power she will have. Just like Spiderman had understood eventually, "With great power there must come great responsibility".

I hope she will fill that void from the loss with the new found sense of responsibility. There will be pain along the way, but that's just called growing up.